


That Was Real

by blackbirdfly0128



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, F/M, POV Sam Winchester, Post-Episode: s15e09 The Trap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 08:04:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22320061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackbirdfly0128/pseuds/blackbirdfly0128
Summary: Chuck got into Eileen's head, and now she doesn't know what to believe. When she tells Sam she has to leave, he gets it. He really does. But that doesn't mean he's going to let her go without knowing where he stands.For him? It's always been real.
Relationships: Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 8





	That Was Real

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! This is my first published fic! I have a crossover that I've been writing for almost a year in the works (also Supernatural, and also Sam/Eileen, but with a twist), but after I watched Thursday's episode, I just HAD to write this. Sam and Eileen are the ship I will go down with. I hope you all enjoy :)

It’s been years since I let myself feel anything. Every time I try, I get burned. Some people die and some were never dead in the first place and I don’t know where to go or what to do but I know that she’s here.

Dean’s right. She gets us. She gets the life. She gets me. She gets me, and it was something I thought I could live without once I lost it the last time. Though I guess the last time was Amelia, and she never knew the truth. Neither did Jessica, and for all I loved her, there was no way I could save her. But Eileen? She knows everything. She sees everything. And I swear to anything real that it was a hope I barely let myself articulate until Dean sat me down that night.

I think Dean might be right. We’ve been on our own long enough; sacrificed enough, walked away from enough. But I don’t think I can walk away this time. I don’t know how anyone could ever walk away from her. Not when being around her feels like this.

We have an agreement. She sees me. She knows me. She knows me, and for the entire world, I think that’s all I’ve ever wanted; Dean, and for someone to look at me and take in everything that I am without looking away. Because that’s all I see when I look at her—just her. I know she’s flawed, hell, we all are.

But I think part of me was starting to think about the ways her flaws and mine fit together. How well we worked together, and it wasn’t just us. Dean saw it too. Eileen and I, we just work.   
And now I don’t know what to do. I’m used to standing on my own two feet, I am, I’ve had to most of my life (or at least, when Dean would let me. Or when he was dead). But I was just starting to let some of my weight lean onto someone else, and I was ready to catch her if she needed me to. She thinks Chuck got into my head. She thinks that she was just put into my path out of convenience, and that her return to life is just one step in whatever his twisted endgame is. She doesn’t trust anything anymore. She had to leave—I know she did.

I get why she left. I do. I know that she needs space to wrap her head around everything. Hell, I’ll give her everything I can, even if it’s nothing—even if it’s just space and time. But I will be damned to a place lower than Hell if I let her leave without at least trying to convince her that I’m not going anywhere, that I’ll be here waiting for her for as long as she needs. Even if she decides she doesn’t need me. Because however confused she may be, I’m not.

And that? That was real.


End file.
